


Kick It

by Lidsworth



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-16 23:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2288339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidsworth/pseuds/Lidsworth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Hide is diagnosed with a potentially fatal disease, he's given six months to live. Kaneki's been missing for three, and the blond would love to spend his last months with his best friend. If he only he could find him before it's too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for a while, so I hope you enjoy it! As always, I'm my own beta!

“-gachika-san!”

A shrill sound filled his head, his aching head. Long, fingernails clawed into his arms and shook him roughly. His conscience sloshed around his aching head as his body jerked back and forth, back and forth.

Internally, he was drowning, being pulled into a dark abyss as a wretched claw grabbed onto his ankle and yanked him into the void. Swimming to the surface seemed nearly impossible, and the urge to give up and succumb to the pull was stronger than ever.

“Nagachika-san! Wake up!”

Who was that again? A woman, ? Or was it a man?

_Blond...short hair...business suit..who was she? Important, yes?_

Another jolt, another painful jolt wracked his body.

_Dark brown hair...split at the top...suit..kagune...ghouls..._

His conscience kicked at the claw around his ankle at the sudden rush of words. Yet the grip grew stronger than before.

_Books...eye patch...lonely...Kaneki!_

He tore from his conscience cage, and with a painful gasp, inhaled a gulp full of air. It was dark around him, incredibly dark. For a second, he believed that he'd gone blind. He wanted to scream in fear, and to his surprise, he _was_ screaming.

His arms reached out to attack the darkness around him, he groped for something tangible and visible.

“Hideyoshi! Calm down!” The plea pulled him from the darkness, and white splotches began to appear in his vision, and clear out his blindness.

Before him, on her knees, was Mado-san. Her red finger nails were practically embedded in his arm, and from the looks of it seemed as if she grabbed his arms out of defense.

Seidou knelt down beside the duo, and his own hand had grabbed onto Hide's.

He looked around at the small area, and realized he was in an office. Most likely Seidou's office.

For a while, there was an eerie silence, as Hide attempted to collect himself. Both ghoul investigators slowly released the blond.

“Nagachika-san...” Mado began, “Are you alright?”

Hide wanted desperately to answer her, wanted desperately to laugh off his most recent episode as a bout of exhaustion. But as a dull pain in his chest fluttered within, he realized the black out was nothing laughable.

“I'm just tired,” he lied weakly, and both investigators could tell.

“D-do you need someone to take you to the hospital?” Seidou chimed in, as he knelt down to help the younger man up, “You look really sick.”

Hide stood up with shaky legs, and as he stood, Mado made to grab at his arm.

They wouldn't let him fall again.

 

The next morning saw Hide in the hospital waiting room, nervously anticipating his test results. The sterile hospital room had made him extremely uneasy, and the large injections, and the pressure of the blood pressure monitor squeezing at his arm until it garnered a heartbeat from the limb, made him incredibly nauseous. He never liked hospitals, never. Unfortunately, during his youth he'd spent days there due to complications after a track accident. That's why revisited dancing, and it had followed him up until now. Goodness, he hoped that this—whatever it was—wouldn't ruin his dancing.

Nevertheless, he hated hospitals, and up until recently, Kaneki would always accompany him during his doctors visit. Except, Kaneki was no where to be seen, and the seat beside Hide felt empty, and cold. Occasionally, he'd touch the seat beside him, expecting to touch the soft skin of his friend's arm. He chastised himself with every false bout of hope which ignited within his heart. Kaneki was gone, but Hide really,  _ really  _ wished he was beside him. 

He hated the hospital.

He was sure he looked afraid, as he twiddled his fingers together, and looked around the waiting room.

“Nagachika-san, will you please follow me, ” A nurse stood just outside of the hallway, holding open the wooden door with her food, “The doctor can see you again.”

Hide smiled wearily as he stood, and followed the nurse.

 

“I-I can't get a heart transplant?!” Hide said loudly, disbelieving what he'd just been told, “Aren't there any other options?”

Hide grabbed onto his knees tightly, and inclined his torso forward just slightly as he shouted at the doctor.

The doctor ran a hand through her curly hair, and shook her head sadly, “Even a heart transplant would be too risky for you, Nagachika-san, and the fact that we aren't entirely sure what's ailing your heart Nagachika defiantly worries me. A heart transplant may not be the best idea, as even with a new heart, you're condition may not disappear.”  
Hide's head fell, and the blond closed his eyes in disbelief. This was a dream, a terrible dream!

“W-What do you know other,” he managed out, “other then the fact that it stops my heart.”

The doctor sighed, “When your heart stops...it withholds oxygen from your brain, which explains your migraines...”

He zoned out as she continued to speak. He was too busy waging his future loses. No more dancing, no more hamburgers, no more Kaneki.

Kaneki...what would he do when he found out Hide was sick? Would Kaneki even be found. How long did Hide have left.

“Six months...” Her voice chiseled into his thought process, “We're looking at six months.”  
He looked up at her, and his brown eyes glistened slightly with extra moisture.

“Six months till you find out what's wrong with me?” He voice cracked with a small bit of hopefulness.

“No, Nagachika-san, six months until you die.”  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

He'd been given his diagnosis three months ago, three  _ painful _ months ago. He hadn't really told many people of his condition, and luckily for him, there weren't many people to tell. Akira and Seidou—he'd gotten incredibly comfortable with them over the past months—were the only two from the CCG who knew of his illness. They'd pressed on and on about it, unyielding in their perseverance to discover his condition. 

“Come on guys! It's nothing serious! Just some exhaustion, that's all. I've just been up too much,” he tried to play it off with his traditional humor, yet the two investigators pried in to the situation. By the grace of God, they manged to uncovere his medical reports, and brought the information to him personally.

 

They weren't called investigators for the hell of it.

 

 

With the evidence stacked up against him, he had no choice but to tell the truth. He obviously expected Seidou to lose it first, as Seidou was defiantly the most emotional out of their troublesome trio. But it was Akira who spoke through trembling lips, and a shaking figure. Her eyes only watered, just slightly though.

“Why on earth didn't you tell us?”

Hide had never made a girl cry, and he certainly didn't want to start with Akira.

“It's just..I didn't want you guys to worry...you're always so busy-”  
“So how long?” She interrupted him quickly.

“Akira-san!” Seidou pipped up.

“No! It's okay,” Hide had stopped them before they delved into one of their many verbal confrontations, “How long has It been? Three months, yeah, three months.”

It felt so surreal coming out of his own lips. He supposed that he'd gotten incredibly used to his impending death. It wasn't right to do so though.

Nevertheless, Seidou still cried.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Touka saw him at the university the next day, as he hung a row of fliers on the school building. They all bore the same “Missing Person” title, and below the title, was a large picture of Kaneki ken. He'd been doing this for a while now, and Touka remained the ever oblivious high school student. Despite her knowing just where Kaneki was, she supposed that the white haired ghoul wanted to keep the information secret for a reason.

“Are you still posting fliers for Kaneki, Nagachika-kun?” She raised her voice slightly as she walked over to him, and tilted her head, “Have you gotten anyway information?” She needed to know what he knew, and if he knew too much.

Hide laughed, “You're always so concerned about Kaneki! You should be helping me put these fliers up, you know!”

Touka blushed a light shade of red, and Hide could tell that his words had embarrassed her.

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable! It's just that, I’m dying you know, and I want to find Kaneki before I’m six feet under. Ha ha!”

Touka actually looked quite taken aback, as if she'd misheard something.

“Nagachika-san...excuse-”  
“Its just that I'm sick,” he laughed lightly as he pinned another flier to the wall, “And they don't know what's wrong...and, well, you know how that goes.”

Touka was actually very unsure of what to say, and her face grew even redder than before. She didn't know Hide enough to sympathize with him, and not to mention, he was human, so his impending death didn't tug at her heart strings all that much.

“I'm sorry, Nagachika-san,” she manged to muster, as she averted her gaze.

“Don't be,” he closed his eyes in a sad sort of joy. His smile stretched from ear to ear, and through a slitted gaze, he continued to pin the pictures to the walls.

“Ju-Just if you see Kaneki, or know anything about him,” the blond breathed, and through his lidded eyes, thick tears managed to make their way through his closed eyes, “Please don't hesitate to tell me. I'd really love to have just one more day with him before...”  
His hand lay limp on the wall before him as the paper fell to the ground, and despite his elegant smile, his entire body shook uncontrollably.

Touka could sense his pain as if it were her own. Yet he smiled the best he could through it.

Clearing his throat, he removed his hand from the wall and brought it to his face in order to rub away at his teary gaze.

“Just...you know...”  
“I know,” Touka suddenly found herself saying hopefully, completely unaware of the source of her new found courage, “I'll look for him, Nagachika-san, and if I find anything, even one thing, I’ll tell you! Just promise me that you'll get better before then!”

In the process, she'd grabbed his hands tightly, and pulled them towards her. She wouldn't let him go, not until he made the promise.

A dead Hideyoshi Nagachika made for a very unstable Kaneki Ken. It wasn't worth the trouble.

Nevertheless, through his tear stained cheeks and watery eyes, he wrapped his pinky around the younger girl's.

“Yeah,” he said, barely above a whisper, “I promise.”

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Thinks happened, but I hope you enjoy this chapter! As usual, I'm my own beta, so do tell me if things are a little out of place.

Touka was mildly surprised that she spent the entire weekend trying to locate where Kaneki's new whereabouts lay, as the information was being withheld from her by both the Manager and Yomo.

 

“Kaneki isn't' ready to see you yet, he's still healing,” the manager had said to her, when she'd stopped him in the middle of one of his midday tasks, in order to ask for his address, “He'll come to you when he's ready. But is there a reason why you're suddenly so interested in finding him?”

 

Touka had considered sharing with the Manager the fact that Kaneki's best friend was dying, but figured she wasn't at liberty to do so, despite the fact that it may have aided her.

 

“Nothing,” she responded gruffly as she looked away, “I miss him, that's all.”

 

“When he's ready, Touka,” repeated the Manager calmy, “When he's ready.”

 

Yomo told her the same thing, or something similar to it, but she'd been so agitated at the time that she wasn't really listening. So alone she ventured off into a tough ward, looking for a boy she didn't even know existed anymore.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Hide called in to work sick again, for the fifth time that week. He thought he may have had the strength to take a weekend shift, yet the sensation of being completely zapped of energy made it hard to even get out of bed. Not to mention, breathing was tough.

 

His nurse already warned him that he may have to be put on a ventilator machine if his breathing grew worse in the next few days, which obviously, it would. So he'd be put on some sort of ventilator regardless. He might as well have quit his job.

 

Adjusting himself, so that he lay on his back rather than his side, he pulled his phone from his pocket, and began to scroll through his recent text messages. He'd already sent about a hundred to Kaneki last night, and still, they'd been unanswered.

 

He wondered if Kaneki even had his phone anymore. What kind of missing person still had a phone anyway?

 

We should hang out Kaneki? Where are you man? You didn't forget about me, did you? It's getting lonely without you here. I've got something to tell you...

 

Those had been some of the very last text Hide had sent to Kaneki, all in the span of five minutes. No matter the severity of the words, or the anguish Hide put behind them, his friend still hadn't answered, which sucked, because in Hide's condition, texting was the only means of communication.

 

He wasn't well enough to venture out into the city and go look for him, not anymore at least. Sighing, he pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes, steading his breathing the best he could as he did so. This episode wasn't nearly as bad as his previous episodes, when if felt like there were rocks pouring down his throat.

 

With his phone in his hand, he began to scroll through some of the music. He’d fall asleep to the sound of old tunes.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Touka saw Kaneki before he saw her. She’d perched herself up in a rotting branch, hidden behind the branches and decaying leaves.

Kaneki had stepped out of the old looking house, and closed his eyes as his barefeet touched the cool pavement below him. The wind blew through his snow white locks, and with tension in his fingers, he raked his hands through his tangled mane.

 

With the morning sun kissing his pale face, and the air tickling at his skin and hair, he looked almost angelic, serene. Like an exotic creature that Touka had the pleasure of observing from a distance.

 

Calling to him now almost seemed forbidden to Touka, like breaking his short moment of relaxation (probably the only moment he’d have that day) was nothing shy of a mortal sin. His body language suggested he’d been through too much, not to mention, the physical toll his ordeal with Jason had taken.

 

Snow white hair was beautiful, yes, but it’s cost, not so much.

  
Nevertheless, Touka found herself and her conflicted mind hopping off of the rotting tree, and onto the very cracked sidewalk. Yet, before she could even call out to the whimsical half ghoul, a rather annoying, stuck up voice rang through the air.

  
She felt bile rise up in her throat as she hopped behind the nearest house for cover. The smell of superficial cologne and decayed ghouls filled the air as Tsukiyama made his way out of the house, and stood by Kaneki, and like the ghoul, admired the breeze, yet did so in the most overly animated, unnecessary way.

 

Touka grimaced at their close proximity,  and the way he tenderly spoke to Kaneki as he supposedly inquired about his health and mental state disgusted her more than anything. Touka wished Tsukiyama had died when she thought she killed him, because despite his reconciliation to all others involved with Kaneki (save for Nishiki), Touka was weary to trust him. The fact that Kaneki allowed him around Hinami upset her too.

 

Not to mention, Tsukiyama was a replacement, a replacement for Hide. And Kaneki was a fool for allowing the Gourmet ghoul to infiltrate his heart that far. Touka wondered if  Kaneki even knew who Hide was anymore.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hide woke to the sound of  a sharp knock on his door, and vaguely remembered that he’d ordered some new headphones earlier in the month. His previous ones were really good, but he supposed he’d need something smaller, if he was to be moving around chords and oxygen masks soon.

 

Throwing his comforter off of his body, he hopped up off of his bed, and nearly winced as his barefeet touched the cold floor. Forcing his aching joints upright, and into action, he nearly caught himself as he stumbled forward.  Suddenly, he realized that he’d stood up rather quickly.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She spoke too, before she processed what was being pushed through her teeth. She had hate already engraved into her mind,  and her words were coated with it’s very essence. And unjustly, they had been directed towards, not the source of their flames, but at the receiver of the disgusting affection, Kaneki.

 

“So this is where you’ve been, all this time idiot?”

“T-Touka chan!?” Kaneki looked completely bewildered as he cast his tired gaze upon the female ghoul, whom returned the look with an ugly scowl. She threw caution to the wind when Yomo and the Manager's stern words came to her head, “he’s not ready yet,” “give him some time to heal”, bull shit.

 

If he was perky enough to be basking in the sunlight with Tsukiyama, then he was “healed” enough to come visit his dying friend.

 

Tsukiyama paused with a sly smile, and inclined slightly towards the fast approaching ghoul, “ We weren’t expecting-”   
  
“I wasn’t anticipating this visit at all,” She cut off the older ghoul seconds before he finished, “I’m here to talk to Kaneki. Alone.”

 

Both men noticed the venom that she’d infused with her agitated tone, and both felt equally threatened by it.

 

“Whatever you wish to say to Kaneki, I’m obliged to eavesdrop. I must ensure that your words ensnare no sort of harm or discomfort-”

 

“It’s fine, Tsukiyama,” Kaneki said suddenly, “it shouldn’t take too long.”

 

Though a look of shock graced his features, his expression morphed back into the usual calm, conniving one he sported daily, “If you wish,”   
  


He cast a lethal glance at Touka, which the ghoul returned with a glance of her own. Upon his retreat back into the home, Touka took full charge of the conversation, giving Kaneki little time to mentally prepare himself.

  
“Would it kill you that much to come and visit? Or are we not worth your time anymore?” It was harsh, yes, and had she seen Kaneki with someone like Hinami-chan, rather than Tsukiyama, then maybe her words would have been less negative. But it hadn’t been so, and it wouldn’t be so. Fate had a particular way of structuring meetings and occurrences.

 

“I’m busy,” Kaneki responded gruffly, as he buried his hands in the pockets of his sweat pants, “I just haven’t had the time.”

 

“What, is that creep taking all of it up?” She spat with clenched fist, “You’ve got friends at Antieku’s, you know! Friends whom haven’t seen you in ages!” She made sure not to mention Hide, not yet. Part of her hoped that Kaneki would introduce the blonds name into the fray.

 

“Tsukiyama isn’t doing anything to me, he’s a lot of help once you get to know him!” Kaneki defended with a nervous smile.

 

“When he’s not trying to eat you, right?” Touka deadpanned, “But that’s not the point, Kaneki! We need you!” Hide needs you, “When was the last time you checked your phone?

 

Kaneki sighed in agitation, “I haven’t had time to do any of that! I already told you, I have things to do!”

 

“Like what? Nothing that would stop you from hanging around those you love, right?”

“I have to get stronger to protect what I love,” he countered, “That means I have to sacraf-”   
  
Touka was upon him before she knew what she was doing,and her small fingers wrung themselves around his front collar, “Selfish! You’re just being selfish!It’s just a damn excuse not to come and visit!”

 

She couldn’t get Hide’s shallow eyes out of her head, or his gaunt skin, or stay thin hair. The way he carried himself, like some sort of fragile animal was almost painful to recall.

 

“I’m selfish? Maybe its you who's selfish Touka,” Kaneki placed his arm around her wrist, and gently shook it off, “Isn’t it rude to hog someone just for yourself.”

 

She turned a shade of red as embarrassment crept to her cheeks at Kaneki’s assumption “I’m not--It’s not me!” Kaneki cast a very un-Kaneki like smirk at Touka, and suddenly, she felt as if she was standing beside someone else. Someone cruel and conniving. Someone born of Aogiri’s inhuman torture.

 

“Really Touka-chan? Are you sure? You seemed really eager to have me all to yourself-”

Her hand stung as she struck Kaneki across the face with a feral fury, her fingers now tinged a bright red as they stood suspended in the air.

 

“You bastard!” She snarled,  “Forget I even came here!”   
  


She whirled around quickly, speeding off and refusing to look back.

 

That wasn’t the Kaneki she knew, and that wasn’t the Kaneki she felt safe reintroducing an ailing Hide to. She might as well save him the disappointment, because Kaneki wasn’t coming back.

 

By foot, it wouldn’t take her entirely too long to reach the blonds apartment.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Hide came crashing down to the ground with a loud thud, and a wheeze that bounced off of the walls. he began to pant like some sick dog not allowed water in the sweltering summer heat. He brought a hand to his chest, and clawed at the fabric, as if the force of his grip would somehow bid his heart to resume its only bodily function, yet the sharp pain ceased very little.

 

Hide could already see black splotches clouding his vision, and tried with every bit of strength he had to hoist himself up and unto the bed in order to get his phone. But the pain was unbearable, not to mention, he was slipping into a self induced state of unconscious.

 

IF he couldn’t contact anyone, he'd be in a really bad pickle. And unfortunately, that looked like the sorry road that he was beginning to take.

  
Darkness befell him like a nightmare, and suddenly he felt like a fish thrown out of water, and onto a heated bank.

 

This episode was by far the worse, both mentally and figuratively. With no strength left at all, yet with his phone just feet above him, laying in his bed, Hide was reminded of just how close life was to him, yet his ailment was threatening to take it away in mere seconds.

 

He was going to die...he could tell. It didn’t seem like he’d make it out of this one, not with no one around him…

 

He felt as if a bullet tore through his  brain, and shattered the image of his room in mere seconds, replacing it with an eerie darkness. He could no longer hear anything accept a rather high pitched ringing noise in his ear.

 

He was dying, floating and being tugged in all directions. Demons bit at his skin and pulled him down, angels tugged him upward, and all the while, humanity stepped on his chest until it caved in with a shallow “crack”, knocking the air out of his lungs.

 

When the motions stopped, when he lay peacefully in the dark abyss, he assumed that he was indeed dead.

 

Though he wondered just when heaven started to smell of coffee and perfume.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Please do tell me what you think, and again, I hope you enjoy. Have a wonderful week, and God bless!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, sorry for the long wait! I hope you enjoy this chapter. There's a lot of Touka in it. ,

 

How his health managed to take a tragic turn for the worse, she wasn't entirely sure.

 

It was terrifying, seeing how the doctors ran in a furry, how they grabbed at large, scary metal materials, grabbed at rubbers and other synthetic tools in order to revive the struggling blond. Though even through the loud shuffling in the hospital room, and from the non stop beeping of various machines and the clanging of different metals, Touka could clearly hear the silence of Hide's heart beat.

 

She stood on the wall, timid and motionless, staring at the flock of white clad men and women.

 

They jolted the still muscle with electricity, pointed on his chest with shocks and bolts, yet nothing worked. He lay on the bed, still and peaceful, as if he were sleeping, or listening to a pleasant song. Strangely, all Touka could think about was Yoriko. Think about how fragile people actually were, how gravely sickness and genetics affected humans. If they weren't killed by investigator or other ghouls, than ghouls usually lived until old age.

 

But humans, they were unpredictable.

 

Touka was breathing hard now, as the severity that the crowd seemed to bring with them before was lessening by the second, and it seemed as if their drive to save Hide's life died with his heartbeat.

 

“Damn it” She hissed quietly, unsure of what else to say, “Damn it!” The thought of alerting Kaneki repulsed Touka more than anything. Part of her wanted the half-ghoul to suffer like this, wanted him to miss Hide's last moments of life. But that was cruel...it was incredibly too cruel.

 

Digging in her pocket and pulling out her phone, she scrolled to her contact list.

 

_I don't care what the fuck you're doing. Get your dumb ass to the hospital now, and ask for Hide._

 

She left the address, and nearly pressed send. But something stopped her. Hide was so bright and jovial, so lively and energetic. She stuffed her phone in her pocket. He would live, he had to.

 

The doctors had been too busy to notice her previously, though as things died down, she was hard to ignore. One of the surgeons looked at her with stone features, “Are you a friend?”   
  
“Yeah,” Touka said softly, “How is he doing?”

 

The doctor sighed, “We've started his heart up again, and we're waiting for brainwaves, as of now, he's not really here. Would you mind stepping out please?”  
  


Touka nodded, “Yeah, no problem.”   
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

She felt drained as she plopped into the chair. It was almost as if Hide's illness was taking a huge part out of her, a part she didn't know she had. Sure, when he told her that he was dying, it dampened her mood, but she didn't think it would affect her this greatly.

 

Now that he wasn't even waking up, she felt as if she'd been lost along with him. Had his presence really affected her that greatly?

 

She could only remember the cheery way he'd bust into the cafe when he was looking for Kaneki, or the way he tried to ask her out after two seconds of seeing her...his smile, she figured, was like the sun. She didn't know what chocolate really tasted like, but if she had to put its sweetness into words, she'd assume it would be the color of his eyes.

 

She felt sick to her stomach for being so sentimental about a boy she hardly knew.

 

Perhaps it was the fact that someone so full of light like Hide was struggling to live, that somebody like him didn't deserve to die so soon. She remembered how it was when she went to his house, how still his chest was, how utterly peaceful he looked.

 

He smelled like dead meat, and for once, Touka was repulsed at the idea of eating. In fact, she felt the immediate urge to pull out her phone and text Yoriko something along the lines of “I love you and don't get sick”.

OOO

Touka fell asleep sometime after she went into the waiting room. She woke with a light tap on her shoulder, and an array of cracking joints and creaking bones. Somehow, she'd manage to curl herself up in the fetal position in the large cushioned chair. Wriggling out of her cocoon was a lot more painful than expected.

And she wanted more than anything to attack the idiot who woke her. Though it took her only seconds to realize she was in the hospital still, and that the man who woke her was the same stoned face surgeon.

 

Though his features were just a little more...softer.

 

Touka jumped, “Is he...”   
  
The doctor closed his eyes and nodded, though he bore a somber look on his face.

 

“What is it?” Touka said quickly, her heart pounding.

“He's awake, for now,” spoke the doctor, calmly, “Though I’m sure you're aware that he's dying. It would be recommend for him to stay here, but seeing as he doesn't have that much longer left, he wants to spend it outside of the hospital. He can do so, though the next time this happens, he may not wake up.”   
  
Touka was tired of hearing bad news, that's all her life had to offer. But perhaps she could make something good out of Hide's lasts. It certainly seemed like something he'd want to do.

 

“Can I see him?” She stood.

 

The doctor nodded, “Yes, as he'll need someone to check him out, and a means of transportation.”   
  


_Shit..._ Touka thought to herself, realizing that she had no car or anything like that. In fact, she arrived with the ambulance. Maybe a taxi would do. 

OOO

Hide was listening to his music when Touka came into his room, scrolling through songs on his phone, and bumping his head to the beat. He looked as if he hadn't even been seconds away from death's door. 

 

_So typical,_ she thought to herself, as she walked towards the side of his bed. Waving, she got his attention. 

“Touka-chan! You're here?” He removed his headphones and stared at her, wide eyes full of gratitude, “How did you even know where I was?”   
  
Touka cleared her throat, “When I came to your apartment, you weren't moving, Nagachika. So I called the ambulance, and rode with them.” 

 

Hide smiled, “Phew! I'm glad you where there Touka-chan! I would've been dead if it weren't for you.” 

And then without even asking, he wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. She was never one for physical contact, but midday in her thoughts to push him off, she found herself melting into his embrace (even if he was suffocating her). It was nice to be held like this by someone other than herself.

 

Though it was awkward never the less, especially when they stayed that way for a while.

 

“Um...Nagachika-san,” She gently pushed at his chest, putting some distance between the two, “I think you're suffocating me.”   
  
“Oh sorry Touka-chan!” He released his grip quickly, putting his hands up in a defensive state, “Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable-”   
  
“You’re not making me uncomfortable!” The words spluttered out of her mouth, and suddenly, she felt her face heating with embarrassment, “I mean it's nice...”

 

There was a small period in which Touka stared into Hide's eyes, and Hide stared into Touka's, and all she could think about what the sweetness of chocolate must've tasted like. She'd seen this in those cheesy movies Yoriko usually forced her to go on.

 

The girl and the boy stared at each other for who knows how long. Their faces burned with excitement and nervousness, and ever so slowly, one of them leaned in, scrunching up their lips, readying for the kiss. Most of the times they had no idea what they were doing. This time, Touka had no idea what she was doing.

 

It was Hide's hands that combated her lips.

 

“Touka-chan, I think I’m the wrong person,” Hide stopped her, “I'm not Kaneki.”

“Sorry! I was just...ugh...forget that ever happened,” She spoke in a frenzy, her face even brighter than it was before, “I can call a cab, so we can get out of here.”   
  
Hide looked more than happy to abandon the previous events, “Sure, sound like a plan...though speaking of Kaneki, have you seen him...recently?”   
  
Touka scowled as she whipped out her phone, hiding her face“He's not the same.”

 

Hide shrugged, and looked up at the ceiling, “I don't think we are either, Touka-chan.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After documentations and prescriptions, Touka was happy to be leading a weary looking Hide into the back seat of a cab. Touka still couldn’t get the failed attempt of a kiss out of her head.

 

What the hell was she thinking? She hardly even knew Hide. She was thankful that he wasn't making it awkward for the two of them, but still. What if she did kiss him? Would he be able to taste the blood on her lips? When Kaneki worked with her at Anteikus, he usually commented on Hide's acute perception and observational skills.

 

She wondered just how much Hide knew, and if being in his current state meant he was any danger to she, or the other ghouls.

 

Sighing, she rested her head against the cab window, trying to calm the raging thoughts in her head.

 

“Hey, Touka-chan, maybe we can go talk to Kaneki together, since you know where he is,” Hide began, as he turned towards the teen, “That way I’ll still be able to see him, even if he is different.”

 

Touka groaned, and ran a hand through her hair, “Nagachika-

“You can call me Hide, Touka-chan,” Hide interrupted, “It sounds strange, after a while for you to call me by my last name. You've been so nice to me and you saved my life. It's alright for you to call me Hide.”

 

Touka blinked, mildly surprised. The only other person who called him Hide was Kaneki, and they were best friends.

 

“Okay...Hide” she tested the name out on her lips, finding it very strange at first, especially to be coming out of her mouth, “Hide.”   
  


“That's right Touka-chan, A plus!”

“I'm not an idiot Hide!” She was comfortable enough to let her true colors show, especially since Hide had the tendency to make her feel so at home.

 

How someone so incredibly close to death could be so full of life, she hadn't a clue, it almost seemed impossible. But here was Hide, lighting up the back seat of the small cab, and once or twice, she'd even seen the cab driver smile in the mirror.

 

Truly, the most beautiful things Earth had to offer were snatched up before they could bloom, weren't they?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

They arrived at his apartment shortly after car ride, though Touka had to help Hide up the stairs, as she terrified that he'd pass out again and slip down the steps.

 

“I've got it, I’ve got it Touka-chan!' Hide attempted to reassure her, though she never backed down. They long abandoned the conversation of Kaneki in the cab (because in all honesty, it was just depressing, and there wasn't much Touka could say without getting too much away), and when they got to his apartment, they decided to talk about happier things.

 

Though the occasional puns at Hide's own short life upset Touka. Eventually, he just let her listen to some of his music in order to calm her. She was surprised by the variety of tunes he'd downloaded on his phone, and even more surprised by the lack of Japanese music.

 

“I like to test waters,” Hide had said, “And American music has an uppity beat...you know, it's not really too deep, so I don't have to think about it too much.”   
As Touka sat on his couch, listening to his music, she tried to wrap her mind around what that meant. The music, in all honesty, was a lot of babble to her. Some girl with a high, synthetic voice was practically screaming about random things.

 

But the drums did sound nice in the background...and she supposed that the girl's voice somehow managed to harmonize with the music.

 

All in all, it wasn't that bad.

 

“Touka chan, do you want some coffee, I have black,” came Hide, from behind the sofa, “I mean...I know you really can't eat anything I hav...”   
  
The headphones had been ripped off of her head, and suddenly, she was beside him. Her speculations were right, Hide did know.

 

He staggered back slightly, nearly falling to the ground. Touka raised a hand, as if she were about to attack him, and silence him for good. She remembered the promise she made to Kankei, regarding what would happen to Hide if he ever found out.

 

But that was then, this was now...Hide wasn't as dangerous as she thought....

 

But what if he told someone? What if he was waiting to gather them all up, and report them all. What if that was his master plan, to report Anteiku?

 

“You're really paranoid, aren't you Touka-chan?” Though Hide stood back at first, slowly, he began to walk towards her, “I wonder what happened to you, to make you like that.” Lifting his own hand, he curled his fingers around her stiff ones, gently shaking them, so that they would loosen up.

 

“IF you keep your hand suspended in the air like that for too long it'll start to cramp up,” Hide warned her, “Trust me, I know from experience.”

 

“J-just what do you think you're doing,” Touka tried to sound menacing, tried to sound threatening, because honestly, Hide should have been quivering in his socks now. She could kill him in a heart beat.

“I'm not going to tell anyone, Touka-chan,” Hide spoke quietly, inches away from the ghoul, “The only reason I even joined the CCG was to find Kaneki, but it seems like _you_ know where he is. So I guess I can quit.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

After the initial shock of Hide revealing his knowledge, Touka took it as an opportunity to rant about the Kaneki situation, and just how different he was. She took up a long time, walking around the living room, drinking mug after mug of dark coffee.

 

Part of it was actually beneficial to Hide, the other part was Touka just ranting her heart out (which Hide didn't mind too much).

 

 

“And that's why we can't see Kaneki...”

 

“Touka-chan, if we just talked to him-”   
“We can't just talk to him,” She grumbled, “he's not the same.”

 

“Maybe I can talk to him, he's my best friend,” Hide tried, “I'm sure-”   
“What kind of best friend ignore their friend for six months,” Touka spat, “I think you need to open your eyes Hide. You have less than two months left. Do you really want to live with the disappointment?”   
  
Hide sighed, and adjusted himself on the couch. Closing his eyes, he smiled, “I'd rather feel the pain of knowing Kaneki's okay without me, than feel the emptiness of never getting to see him again. I've only got a few weeks left before I kick it...why not end it with a surprise.”   
  
“Ugh...” Touka groaned, “It's not going to be a damn surprise!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, as usual, have a wonderful week, and God bless!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ: I've realized a lot of you have been sharing my works on Tumblr, and that's awesome! I love it! However, I ask that you do not tag it under the hidekanesupport group, as my work would be considered offensive to them, due to material i've posted in my other stories (not related to Tokyo Ghoul and some related) regarding rape, mpreg, and things like that. 
> 
> The hidekane support group would not like to associate themselves with any writers who've written past NSFW, even if it has nothing to do with Tokyo Ghoul, due to the fact that your gallery, or works may be considered harmful to the group. That's what they did to my friend, and while my recent Tg fics don't have any non-con, mpreg, in them, my works from other fandoms do, and that's considered abusive to the hidekanesupport group. Even if It has nothing to do with Tokyo Ghoul, they would rather you not associate yourself with them. So I ask that you do not tag me. Same goes to any other writer/artist/etc., you're considered very harmful. 
> 
> Spread the word, anyone who's past works have non-con in them, or mpreg, or anything that's NSFW be they Tokyo Ghoul related or not, you're considered abusive to the hidekanesupport group. Just a heads up. I'll be posting this on my other works, so just in case you ignore this, you'll read it elsewhere. 
> 
> Also, please do share my works on tumblr! Do share them! You can follow me at lidworth.tumblr.com

He hated how he allowed Touka's words get to him. After she left that day, he tried his best to push her words out of his brain with some sort of reasoning and rationality, but the damage had been done. She'd single handily guilt tripped him, and he was far beyond repair.

 

 

Tsukiyama had begged him not to let her “venomous” words get to him as badly as he was letting them, and compared the one winged ghoul to some sort of spiteful siren who fed on the hearts of aching men. Banjo noticed the declination in his already bleak attitude, and tried to cheer him up the best he could.

 

Even Hinami tried to cheer him up. But he knew he was in the wrong, he knew that Touka's anger wasn't at all irrational. He'd been neglecting them at Anteiku, Touka had a right to be upset.

 

It was he who needed to apologize, not the other way around. So after telling Hinami to get her things ready, Kaneki set off to Anteiku.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“We're going to see Big Sister?!” Hinami was over joyed as the two walked through the 20th ward a day later, though Kaneki bore a strong sense of guilt, and his nerves were tingling with fright. He'd been pretty terrible to Touka, and he wasn't sure that she'd forgive him. Not easily, of course.

 

Perhaps she wouldn't forgive him at all, and if that came to be, then truly, he deserved it. He promised her he'd never leave her alone, but he'd been doing just that.

 

He was such a liar, such a hypocrite. It was just a shame that it took Touka's anger to get him to see it that way.

 

When they found themselves in front of Anteiku's doors, Hinami ran inside with the joy of a small child, seeing her mother for the first time in ages. Kaneki was slow as he followed, shame hanging above his head like a dark cloud of thunder.

 

He felt physically weaker as he crossed over the threshold, as the feeling of despair and dread slammed into him like a brick wall.

 

Himami had run into the cafe, bypassing Irmi and Nishiki, screaming and shouting for Touka.

 

It wasn't until Kaneki locked eyes with the two workers, that he realized that something was dreadfully wrong. They looked pale, paler than usual. Their attitudes conveyed a sort of foreboding feeling, as if something terrible had happened.

 

Hinami slowly made her way to Kaneki, feeling the weight that seemed to be occupying the room.  
“Nishio-senpai, where's Touka?” Kaneki asked quickly, “why do you seem so upset?”  
  
Nishiki sighed, “She went to the hospital yesterday, she texted us earlier. Apparently it was something really serious,” he sounded civil this time, as if he knew his words meant a lot to Kaneki, “She said it had to do with Nagachika.”

 

“What?”

“Your friend, something happened to him,” Nishiki responded a little louder.

“But Touka-chan didn't tell us what exactly happened, she just said she couldn't be here yesterday or today,” Irmi continued, “Maybe you should go check it out.”

 

Kaneki thought long and hard about what sort of ailment could've put Hide in the hospital. He was always biking, maybe he fell and broke a leg?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

“What are we going to do today, Touka-chan?” Hide asked as he sat at the breakfast table, mixing his straw in his ice cold water. Touka didn't respond though, as she was too busy trying to put together some sort of meal for Hide to eat. The doctor had instructed that he eat something healthy, though if possible, slightly bland.

 

How to apply those words to human food, she hadn't a clue. She couldn't even taste the dish that she was creating. Hide had taken his medication first thing in the morning, and a side effect of it included possible dulled taste buds. Hopefully, he couldn't taste the mixture of rice and eggs that she'd poured into the pan, thanks to an online recipe.

 

She considered phoning Yoriko, but decided against it. She was most likely still sleeping.

 

“Well, if you don't-”  
“Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate!”

 

She was an idiot for saying that! The moment she said that, she could hear Hide stand up, as his chair scraped against the wooden floor. His warmth was behind her in an instant, and with calculating eyes, he looked over her shoulder, and at the rice she'd managed to stick in the bowl.

 

“That's not how you cook rice, Touka-chan, here let me help you,” Snaking his arm around her, he grabbed at the spoon and gently shook it from her hands, “You have to let it simmer first.”  
  
Touka cursed herself for blushing like she did around Hide, but with him so close, and his body practically brushing up against her's, she couldn't help herself. Not to mention, even with his system full of medication, he smelled unlike anything she'd ever had the pleasure of sniffing before.

 

 _Damn teenage girl hormones,_ she cursed inwardly, as she watched Hide put a top on the pan.

 

“We can set it down like that for a while until the rice sucks up all the water, meanwhile, let's get you some coffee,” Hide walked over to his cabinets brushing up against Touka as he did so. The ghoul felt so cold without him behind him, and paralyzed in some sort of darkness without his warm sunshine. She'd never felt so depended on someone like this (save for Yoriko).

 

She felt so stupid for letting herself fall for him like this, when obviously, he didn't return the feelings. Not to mention, he was dying. Either way she entered this one-sided relationship, she'd end up screwed in the end.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  
Kaneki left the hospital, with little to no information. Though all he learned was that Hide had been discharged, and had left with a young girl.

 

 _Touka-chan..._ It was easy for Kaneki to make the connection, though how Hide and Touka even managed to get on together confused him. Last he checked, they weren't even friends. At all.

 

But something had shifted. Touka went into a hospital, of all places, for Hide? That was a dangerous move for a ghoul, considering that the CCG had those places on security 24/7, as any hungry ghoul would pick off of a weak patient. Not to mention, she was doing this for Hide? The one she said she'd kill if he discovered their secret?  


He wondered if that's why she was tailing him, to kill him. Hide was intelligent, and Kankei would be surprised if he knew what Touka was....perhaps Touka felt the same way. Maybe it was she who put Hide in the hospital.

 

 

A million thoughts rushed through Kaneki's head that moment, not one of them remotely good.

 

Had Hide confessed his discovery to Touka? Had she beat him senselessly against the wall? Was that the situation they were in now?

 

 

 _She wouldn't do it! Of course she wouldn't, but she would if she thought she was protecting herself. No..no...Touka hurt Hide, didn't she? She hurt him and now she's stalking him! She's going to kill him..._ thoughts of uncertainty and distrust ran through Kaneki's head.

 

Kaneki tried to tell himself that Touka wouldn’t raise a harmful finger against Hide, given the fact that she and Kaneki were friends. But Touka was...well...complicated. And if she happened to hurt Hide, Kaneki didn't know what he'd do. Nevertheless, he tried his best to push the negative thoughts in the back of his mind, and made a slow treat to Hide's apartment, hoping he was still okay.

 

But he arrived with a hot head.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Touka cleaned the kitchen while listening to the water from Hide's shower splashing against the shower floor. She was thankful that he could get into the shower by himself, and that he hadn't lost his breath any time that morning.

 

But that didn't change the fact that eventually he would lose his breath, and he'd lose it badly. She wondered what Hide thought of life support, if it came to that. She wondered if he'd rather die than be hooked to a machine, and revived every so often.

 

She wondered if Hide would still be Hide, after the second time the hospital managed to get his heart beating, of the third, or the fourth, or the fifth time. He'd made such an effect on her with the little time they spend together, but even she knew very well that earth's most wonderful things were often short lived, and to be treasured in the small amount of time they were granted life.

 

The hospital had alerted her to bring Hide back to the ER the moment he began to experience breathing problems, though she wondered what the merit of the visit would be.

 

None, most likely.

 

Part of her wondered what it would be like for Hide and Kaneki to switch places. How it would be if he had the life giving RC cells that waded off disease of any sort. Though she knew, as much as it pained her, that for Hide to switched places with her idiot of a friend would only mean she wouldn't get to know him how she did.

 

Besides, was Kaneki really a friend? Or some sort of manipulative bastard?

 

Sighing, she scrunched her fingers in the warm soapy water. They encased her aching joints and pale digits. Gunk and food ran over her fingers as she shook them, and groped for the sponge in the midst of murky water.

 

She needed to finish dishes quickly. She and Hide had an entire day a head of them with so little time, meaning that he'd try his best to weasel his way to Kaneki. Touka would ensure that never happened.

 

Only, a knock at the door stopped the thoughts, the thoughts that calculated ways to rid herself and Hide of Kaneki's presence. Ringing her hands out of the sink and patting them dry on her shorts, Touka walked towards the door. At that moment, the knocking grew louder, and more fiercer.

 

“Hold up! I'm coming,” She shouted loudly, as she ran towards the door, “Calm down!”

 

But the knocking didn't, it drew on, especially at the sound of Touka's voice. She was careful at the door however, and her thoughts to suddenly open it and let the obnoxious intruder in died down quickly, as she thought of who it may be.

 

Hide had mentioned that he worked for the CCG, so perhaps his friends decided to stop by, and check up on him. However, the synthetic smell of quinque material would've hit her like a solid brick even behind the closed wood.

 

No, this smell belonged to someone completely different, yet so similar at the same time.

 

And in her thoughts, and her marveling, the door almost flew off of the hinges, nearly crushing her in the process. However, she managed to move out of the way just in time, so that the door brushed against her stray strands of hair, as it slammed into the wall beside it.

 

“What the fuck is your problem!” She didn't even beat around the bush as the specter of a rather emotionless, white haired Kaneki stood in the door way, leg slowly descending as he surveyed the product of his kick, “Why the hell are you here? I told you to-”  


Kaneki didn't let her finish, rather, he spoke softly, “Touka-chan, Hide is my friend.”  
“And...” Touka drew on, easing up slightly in her stance, “It hasn't really seemed like that.”

 

“I heard he was sick, and I thought you had something to do with it,” Kaneki replied as he ignored her previous statment, blunt and honest, “I panicked when I heard you on the other side of the door. You may have hurt him.”  
  
Touka was at her wits end with Kaneki, and they hadn't even been talking for that long, “Me? Hurt him? Who's the one who nearly kicked his door down? Who's the one who hasn’t' visited him in months? You've done a lot more damage to him by ignoring him than I would have done by eating him.”

 

Kaneki's eyes narrowed as he stepped in, and out of instinct, Touka assumed a defensive posture.

 

“You didn't hurt him, did you Touka?” Kaneki dropped the friendly suffix at the end, “I'm not here to play games with you, because obviously, you won't listen. I just want straight forward answers.”  
  
It hurt her to know that their trust had been shattered, but perhaps it wasn't even worth it. They had left on a rather sour note, and Kaneki wasn't willing to apologize for his behavior. Neither was she. She could tell he had no intention of speaking to her, he just wanted hide.

 

Well, he didn't deserve him.

 

“Fuck off Kaneki,” she snarled again, as she sprung forward, “Just fuck off!”  


She was ready to kill him.

  
Through her blind rage, and Kaneki's growing anger, neither could here the sound of heavy footsteps treading downstairs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested, and if you joined the hidekane secret admirer exchange, you'll be getting your partners soon. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I can't see anything great coming out of an argument with Touka and Kaneki regarding Hide, especially if Kaneki already has preconcieved thoughts of what may've happened to him, and if Touka is not willing to let her friend go. Again, hope you enjoyed, heed my warning for the hidekanesupport group, follow me on tumblr (lidsworth.tumblr.com) and if you joined the hidekankeadmirer exchange, just wait patiently.  
> Have a wonderful week, and God bless!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Finally, a proper reunion between the two friends. The chapter isn't as long as most have been, but it's to get the needed effected. I hope you enjoy it!

Hide froze as he watched the two ghouls prepare to square off. The air adopted a rather tense atmosphere as Touka's kagune prepared to flower from behind her, and Hide noticed the small ripples being emitted from just beneath Kaneki's shirt.

 

 

Or what he believed to be Kaneki. What the hell happened to him? Did he decide to go change his look without telling Hide? The blond mused internally, but knew it was much more than that. A sad sense of guilt filled his gut. What had Kaneki gone through?

 

Perhaps he'd ask him later on, if Kaneki was comfortable enough to talk about it, considering that Touka didn't kill him before he had the chance.

 

“Touka-chan! Kaneki!” He called quickly, efficiently getting their attention. They both turned towards him, Touka's kakugan flashing dangerously, and Kaneki's one eye dimming with a hint of shame, and almost fear.

 

 

Hide was paler than Kaneki remembered, and a lot thinner. Not to mention, his usually bright blond hair had grown discolored, his eyes three shades darker. He looked rather gaunt, not like the Hide Kaneki had remembered, in fact, he looked “ghoulish”, like a creature that should have been lurking around a graveyard.

 

 

 

Hide had changed more than Kaneki had, and the white haired ghoul found his mouth hanging slightly agape. He'd been afraid to show himself to Hide due to the monster he'd become, to the point where the blond just slipped from his mind, almost forgotten like his mother. But now, Kankei was trying his best to remember Hide before this...sickness had taken him.

 

“H-Hide...you're...I'm...” There was so much he wanted to say, an apology, a demand for an explanation, and as usual, and overload of words flooded his brain whenever he wanted to say something meaningful. He stood under Hide's gaze like some sort of bewildered child, who'd just seen a ghost (and in all honesty, Hide looked like one, in his white robe and white pants).

 

The blond smiled as Kaneki's thoughts materialized themselves into the silence.

 

 _I'm sorry, I should've been hear. Please forgive me Hide! I'm such a terrible person! You must hate me..._ Suddenly, Kaneki grew a gross urge to murder Tsukiyama for his attention whorish tendencies.

 

“It's alright man,” Hide spoke softly, as he stepped down the stairs, placing a hand on Kaneki's shoulder when he was close enough, “we can talk later. All that matters is that your here.”

 

Touka was seething, fist clench and still, ready to attack, “Asshole.”

 

Hide closed his eyes as he felt Kaneki's muscle's tense underneath his palm. Kankei was ready to say something else.

 

“Tou-”   
  
“How about we all go to the sitting room, I can make you guys some coffee,” Hide smiled, as he withdrew his hand, “I made some for Touka-chan and she liked it! Come on Kaneki, you'd like it too!”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Kaneki was still trying to mentally deduce Hide's condition as the blond spoke of school and work, while fixing two mugs of coffee. However, Kaneki couldn't steal one look at his friend without Touka nearly crushing his foot from under the table, using her heel to step on his toes.

 

What was with her protective streak? Just months ago she threatened to kill Hide if he found out about their secret, and now, she was mothering him? What the hell?   
  


Though he shouldn't have expected any more from Touka, she was insane.

 

Needless to say, if Hide didn't mention anything regarding his condition, Kaneki would have no problem doing it himself.

 

The said blond walked over, and placed two mugs in front of either ghoul.

 

“Hope you guys like it—oh, and Kaneki, I don't have any sugar cubes or anything, “ Hide mused, implying that he knew Kaneki was a ghoul, thus easing the tension just a bit “So hopefully you can make due with my coffee.”

 

“Hide,” Kaneki spoke quickly, just before his friend made his way into the kitchen. From the corner of his eye, Kaneki could see the cold way in which Touka looked at him, almost daring him to say something stupid. He ignored her, she wasn't an issue.

 

“Yeah,” Hide turned around, in all of his gauntness glory. Kaneki tensed, should Hide even be moving around?   
  
Kaneki sighed, slightly afraid of the bad news he'd receive. Though if anything, his time as a ghoul had prepared him for bad things in general, though nothing hit as close to home as Hide.

 

“Are you...okay?” He didn't even feel like he had the right to question Hide about his condition, due to the fact that he'd been avoiding him for some time now.

 

Hide smiled, and Kaneki felt a surge of uneasiness bubble through his gut.

  
“Well, long story short,” he began as he turned away from his friend, and resumed his walk to the kitchen, “I'm dying.”   
  
“What?”

 

Hide smiled sadly to himself as he began to fix up a small breakfast. He knew Kaneki would react like this, would will the news to fly over his head like leaves in the wind, only catching it again when the silence grew to an uncomfortable stretch, to the point where it screamed the sorry truth.

 

“What?” Kaneki asked again, voice deflated, as if trying to understand what Hide had said.

 

Hide wouldn't repeat it, that wouldn't help Kaneki understand. There was another prolonged silence, and Hide had fixed himself a tiny sandwich.

 

Kaneki was in mental denial .

 

_I'm supposed to protect everyone! I'm supposed to protect Hide! Hide can't die! He can't...he can't..._

As quickly as the thoughts began swirling in Kaneki's head, the tears started glistening down his cheeks, and through a watery gaze his gaze went back a few years, and found himself sitting on the hill with Hide, like they always did when they were children. Reliving the happy moments, trying his best to forget about the bad ones.

 

He brought his shaky hands to his face, covering his eyes the best he could. It was setting in now. Hide knew how much he meant to Kaneki...he wouldn't joke like that, no matter how long it had been since they'd last see each other.

 

Hide was dying...his best friend...

 

“Chill out Kaneki, I'm not dead yet,” suddenly, he was beside Kaneki, slapping a hand on his shoulder, “there are miracles, right? And if there aren't miracles,” Hide said with a smile, as Kaneki turned towards him, with a tear streaked face, “Then you better be freaking good in life, because it's not gonna be Heaven with out you!”   
  


He cast that same smile he always did whenever Kaneki had been sad, or lonely as a kid. He was the embodiment of light, he was Kaneki's light.

 

The white haired ghoul pressed his face into Hide's shirt, wrapping his arm around the thin blond.

  
“Hide...I'm sorry for leaving you alone...” Speaking through muffled sobs, the ghoul wept. He had no idea what else to say, but an apology was the only thing he could really think of.

 

Hide sighed, and ran a hand through Kaneki's white hair, shushing the ghoul as needed.

 

Meanwhile, Touka could barely contain her disappointment (though disappointment was an understatement, she was devastated). She didn't expect it to go like this. A part of her hoped that Hide would reject him, but she knew Hide well enough to know that he was forgiving.

 

Too forgiving.

 

Her fingers clenched around her mug, and she nearly broke it. Anger was her worse enemy, and she was letting it get the best of her.

 

Kaneki didn't deserve Hide's acceptance (but Kaneki would get his, oh, he'd get it alright). And Touka couldn't wait. He deserved every ounce of devastation Hide's suffering would give him.

 

And she'd help Hide the best she could (but he would most likely die...Touka had to prepare herself for that...she couldn't be hopeful like Kaneki, or her father or the Manager, or anyone who lived with their head in the clouds), and watch Kaneki crumble as he tried to keep Hide together, like grains of sand slipping through open fingers.

 

Touka relinquished her grip on her mug, and tried to tell herself that he anger didn't stem from jealousy. She didn't love Hide...they were just friends.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Touka and Kaneki may be a little OOC to one another. Sorry about that. Touka is getting angry and jealous, and she has every right to be, considering Kaneki abandoned them. However, Kaneki's trying to make up with Hide , so we'll see how it goes. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I've posted it on tumblr (you can follow me at lidsworth.tumblr.com). Remember, don't reblog into the hidekanesupportgroup, but you can reblog it anywhere else. May the universe be ever in your favor, and God bless!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in forever! I think i'm going to wrap this story up in the next 1-2 chapters, it's been going on for a while now. Anyway, this chapter is going to be a bit of a “fun” not so dramatic chapter. As always, i'm my own beta! So there may be mistakes!   
> Disclaimer:I do now own TG.

 

After Hide managed to calm ghoulish duo, he'd proposed to them an activity filled time in the city to partake in the very next day. It was one of the things Hide had suggested they do before he kicked the bucket. Not to mention, it was a great way to get Touka and Kaneki to smooth out any rough edges that they'd managed to create in their strained relationship.

 

And speaking of relationships, with Kaneki to be exact, Hide had been quick to forgive, of course, but Touka on the other hand was not. Yet with Hide's death looming over them, he needed both ghouls to be there for each other after he passed. He knew they'd never develop a romantic relationship, they were too toxic for that. But a stronger friendship then before, perhaps?

 

The blond certainly hoped so. The thought of leaving the world with his two closest friends on a sour note didn't sit well with him, not in the least.

 

And the ease in which he forgave Kaneki could not have sat well with Touka. And to make matters worse, he'd dismissed her to his room (there was no way he'd let a lady sleep on the couch) that evening, and had offered to take up the couch with Kaneki. Touka had glared at the half ghoul during the time, and had cast a pleading gaze at Hide.

 

If Hide didn't know any better, he would've thought that Touka was in love with him. But he had no feelings for her, not in that way at least. And unfortunately, Touka's advances weren't his only problem! Hide had noticed Kaneki's new found possessiveness on the couch that evening. Hide had been trapped in his iron grip all night.

 

And Hide was no idiot, that wasn't the remote that had been prodding in between his thighs last night.

 

What on earth had happened to the day of harmless, innocent sleepovers? Though to be frank, Hide had always felt a sort of attraction to Kaneki, he just didn't know if the book worm returned the feelings. And again, male arousal could be triggered by anything, so Kaneki's little accident on the couch last night could've been from a dream, or hell, even a smell.

 

So Hide pushed the idea of a relationship out of his mind. It would make it too hard for both of them.

 

OOOOO

After a small breakfast, and a swallow of his stale tasting pills, Hide and the ghouls found themselves walking through the crowded streets of Tokyo. The carnival was first on their list. Hide had always wanted to go to one when he was a child, but he'd always been too busy moving around and relocating. He wanted to go during high school, but Kaneki wasn't the type to enjoy such festivities, and Hide would rather not go alone.

 

But now was different. Hide could do what he wanted with the people he wanted to do it with. He supposed this was what a “Bucket List” was , and this was his way of kicking it. But he was glad to be kicking it with his friends.

 

The festival grounds were crowded when they arrived. People from all over the city had decided to migrate towards the area that morning. The scent of sweat meat and even sweater deserts filled the air, and the aroma made Hide wish that he'd been hungrier as of recent. However, the ghouls didn't share the same sentiment. Kaneki's dark collar had been pulled up to his nose, and Touka had tightened the pink scarf around her face.

 

Though eventually, the screaming of children, and the blaring music had been enough to distract the ghouls. Not only that, but they'd found themselves interested in games.

 

“Hey, Hide, I want to play that one,” Touka said as they neared a dart game, “It looks fun.”   
  


 

“That one Touka-chan? It looks really hard, are you sure you can win?” Hide's wry smirk caused the ghoul to blush, and from his position beside her, Kaneki glared. When the hell did she become so giddy around Hide.

 

Nevertheless, Touka shuddered as she responded“I-I..yeah, I can do it Hide, it's not that hard.”   
  


Kaneki marveled at Hide's ability to tame the usually rambunctious, and very aggressive Touka. It made him wonder if her school girl act she'd put on when Hide and Kaneki had first gone to Anteiku had been genuine.

  
Hide smiled and handed the game owner money, and he in turn, he provided Touka with darts. Art first glance, the game looked near impossible to win. The objective was to hit the small moving target, a target that moved so quickly that it was obvious to tell that the game was a complete rip off.

 

 

No normal person could hit the target. But then again, Touka wasn't a normal person. She was an Ukaku, and technically, they had to hit moving targets _all_ the time. 

 

“Three tries young lady, if you miss the last one, you have to pay again if you want to play again,” spoke the owner with a hint of amusement in his voice. By the condescending way in which he spoke to her, it was evident that expected her to lose.

 

Touka nodded, and looked up above the target, where there hung an arrangement of different toys and gadgets. The ghoul eyed a pink child's oven with determination.

 

“How many shots for that?” Touka asked as she looked back at the clerk.

 

“All three little lady,” He responded, “all three.”   
  


The ghoul nodded and narrowed her vision at the target, “Got it. I'm ready.”   
  
The clerk chuckled, “On my count. One...two..t-”   
  
The targets moved before the word three even had the chance to roll off of his tongue, but that was alright. Touka's dart had already knocked all three targets over. The cheating man looked at her with a shocked expression, which she returned with a harmless grin.

 

“You _were_ ready, weren't you?”

 

OOO

Of course Touka made Kaneki carry the oven. It was too big and bulky for a normal girl to be carrying, and they wanted to blend in as much as possible. Of course, an argument had ensued at first, and to silence them Hide had offered to carry the oven himself. Quickly, both ghouls had said no, and Kaneki begrudgingly took the oven into his own hands.

 

Now they neared a high striker stand, where an overly gaudy man stood on the podium beside the game. He bounced the mallet in his hand, pointing the device at random festival goers.

 

“Will you be the one to reach the bell? No? What about you miss? You look like you've got a few pounds on you!” His attempt to draw in enthusiasm and attention failed as pedestrians and their families gracefully zipped past his game stand.

 

The odd trio intended to follow in step of the others, however, the clerk's attention turned towards them.

“You Sir, with the pink oven! Why don't you give it a try?”   
  
Kaneki responded dryly, “No thank you.”   
  
“If you say so. Not everyone is strong enough to hit the bell!” responded the man with a dramatic sigh, “Anyway! How about you over there, with the skirt? Or you..” He continued to call strangers at random, thus giving the trio a chance to move.

 

“What Kaneki? Scared? If a girl like me could hit a few targets, I'm sure you could hit the bell. What, do you still have the flab underneath your shirt?”   
  
“It's alright man, the guy even said not everyone can do it, let's go somewhere else.”   
  
However, Touka's insult still stung his ego.

 

Shoving the stove towards her, he dug into his pocket and retrieved the amount needed to play.

 

“Hey, you,” he directed his voice towards the podium, “I'll play.”   
  
The man's eyes lit up with glee as he handed him the hammer, “One try, sir. If you win, any of one these awards,” he gestured towards the long table of untouched electronics, “can be yours. If you don't, you'll have to-”   
  
“Pay again to play, I know. Tell me when.”   
  
The man cast him an irritate glare that reflected his thoughts like a mirror did a reflection, _smug little brat!_ “On my count. One, two, three!” 

 

Kaneki swung the hammer down onto the ground with enough strength the break the game, though he made sure to level it as soon as it met its destination. The puck rose with astonishing speeds, and hit the bell with a “clang”. The man stood there, jaw agape, and eyes wide.

 

Kaneki smirked as he tossed the hammer towards him, and with delayed timing, the man caught it. Though hammer nearly slipped out of his stiff fingers.

Turning towards the assortment of electronics, Kaneki eyed a pair of expensive looking headphones that he'd seen advertised on television. Smirking, he grabbed at his prize, despite the halfhearted protests of the store clerk.

OOOO

More than once, both ghouls had asked if Hide wanted to play any games. The blond politely declined though, as his heart most likely couldn't take the thrill. However, that didn't stop the two ghouls from growing extremely competitive with one another. They'd gone through at least everygame at the festival. It got to the point where they both were so good, that other people paid them to play and win for them.

Hide watched from the sidelines as they competed with each other. With their differences finally put aside, it was evident that they could get along. The relief Hide felt was heavenly, though he knew not to jump to conclusions.

 

Touka was impulsive and Kaneki was unstable. Anything could happen to their relationship, especially with Hide no longer there initiating contact between the two. He wanted them to remain friends when he went, not enemies.

 

OOOO

After they left the festival, the trio stopped by small stores in the shopping district where they split ways. Hide purchased a journal in a tiny shop , Kaneki bought a book at one of the bookstores around the area, and Touka, with the oven still in her arms, looked through the small district for anything that caught her interest.

 

While Hide continued to shop on his own, Kaneki had made his way to the blond after he purchased his book. They hadn't had much time together, and with Touka shopping on her own, there was no better time to seize the opportunity.

 

As soon as he spotted Hide, he sneaked behind him. Immediately, he realized the journal tucked underneath Hide's arm.

 

“What the journal for?” Kaneki's voice had caught the blond off guard, as the Hide jumped at the sound of him.

 

A pain stricken expression flew across Hide's features, and suddenly, Kaneki began to panic.

 

“Sorry Hide, I didn't mean to scare you!” The ghoul was extremely worried, “You're alright, aren't you? You're not...”   
  
“Calm down Kaneki, it's alright ,” Hide chuckled as the throbbing in his chest waned down just a bit. A part of him ached mentally, because he knew that his condition was worsening, though another part continued on as if nothing happened, “It's alright, I just didn't hear you—oh, and the notebook. I just want to write things down, you know. With me being sick and all, I just think its a nice way to keep myself sane.”

 

Hide hadn't meant for it come out so dire, but once the words had left his lips, and their tone had been dampened by his inflection, there was no rebuking them. And the dread was evident on Kaneki's face.

 

There was a silence as the two boys stood beside each other, and about a million words went unsaid between them. Their time together certainly was being limited, and had they spent longer with one another, the pain would not have been as severe.

 

In that moment, Kaneki's guilt radiated into the air, but Hide's forgiveness lightened the thick atmosphere . With a smile that broke the tension, Hide placed a hand on Kaneki's shoulder.

 

“Come on man, let's go find Touka-chan.”   
  
Kaneki nodded and followed. They both knew what was coming, and there was no escaping it. Hide...he didn't even smell like himself anymore. He didn't even look like himself. He was fading away.

 

If only Kaneki had spent more time with Hide...but Hide forgave him. So it wasn't...it wasn't too painful.

 

The ghoul decided to rid himself of the pain just as Hide had, so he spoke, “Oh, and Hide...I got those headphones for you. There the really expensive ones, they've been all over the television.”

 

Hide could hardly contain his smile, “Thanks man! I'd like to listen to them later on. I can't wait to hear how they sound!”

 

Hide's enthusiasm certainly drowned out the sadness that Kaneki had felt in their most recent bout of silence, and at the discovery of Hide's condition. Though the happiness would be short lived—Kaneki knew this all to well.

 

This feeling, this temporary serenity...it was like the calm before the storm.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Hope you enjoyed this fun little chapter, again, I'm sorry for the delay! I've been so busy, so i'm trying to updated old works. This included, and like I said, i'm wrapping this one up in the next few chapters. Do tell me what you think of it. As usual, I'm my own beta. 
> 
> Anyway, have a wonderful weekend, and God bless!

**Author's Note:**

> I secretly hardcore ship Hide and Touka. Idk why, I just do, they're so adorable together. Seidou and Akira together are just hilarious as well. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! I'll update A.S.A.P, have a nice week and God bless!


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